The Mila Kunis Baby Bump Sightings Have Begun

In news that is patently not true, E! is gushing about Mila Kunis‘ first visible signs of pregnancy that are largely invisible to the rest of the world. In a post titled “Hot Mama-to-Be! Mila Kunis Flaunts Her Growing Baby Bump on Red Carpet With Channing Tatum,” E! really goes all out with:

Baby bump alert! Mila Kunis flaunted her bun in the oven at a red carpet event for Cinemacon in Las Vegas today.

In related news, E! has unveiled an exciting new piece of technology which apparently allows them to see the first signs of pregnancy before anyone else does. While some people might attribute Kunis’ shape to the fact that her dress–and very clearly not her body–has a billowy, oversized front section, E! can confirm that all that fabric is in fact a belly swollen with child. Hooray!While Kunis might have in fact chosen that exact shape in order to hide the beginnings of a pregnancy, E! wants her to know that it didn’t work. They found the bump anyways, despite the fact that nobody on this entire planet can see it. I’m not surprised–E! has always been at the forefront of seeing things that aren’t there, like a need to continuously hire “TV personalities” and let Giuliana Rancic talk to people on the red carpet.

Kunis obviously gets the benefit of being called a “hot mama-to-be” because she doesn’t actually look pregnant at all, so E! can drool over her before declaring this beautiful woman a disgusting whale who let herself go. How long until she actually does start to show and E! puts her in a round up of worst beach bodies or fattest pregnant women? Time will tell!