Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez Are Definitely Dating Again

Young love. It's a confusing, fickle thing. One minute it's all sunshine and bluebells, the next it's rot and ruin. And then it's sunshine and bluebells again! At least that's the case for two young people who go by the names Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez. We've followed the ups and downs of these two dopey kids' relationship for what feels like years now, through breakups and reunions and everything else. Now? Now it seems they are, for real, back together again.

That's what Us Weekly says, anyway. They've got some sources, multiple sources, who say that Biebs and Gomez are back to being an official couple. Here's a quote they got from one of these sources: "Justin and Selena are definitely full-on back together at the moment. They spent all day riding together on a Can-Am Spyder on Sunset Blvd." Oh! My goodness! Well certainly if they spent all day riding a Can-Am Spyder down Sunset Boulevard together, then it must be love. You don't ride a Can-Am Spyder down Sunset Boulevard all day with just anyone, that's for sure. That is something you reserve for someone you are truly in love with. So this is serious.

You may be wondering what a Can-Am Spyder is, and that is fine, you are right to wonder. It turns out that it's some sort of three-wheeled motor vehicle, like a motorcycle, but without all the cool two-wheel risk. It's one wheel short of an ATV, America's saddest vehicle. So at least they weren't riding one of those. Anyway, yes, a Can-Am Spyder, all day long, on Sunset Boulevard. That, folks, is the real deal. Do I hear wedding bells? I sure do. Ever since the accident, there are bells incessantly ringing in my head. Don't ride ATVs, folks. At least not when you've had six Twisted Teas and are still depressed about the Lost finale.

What were we talking about? Oh, right, Justin and Selena. They're a couple again. Or were. They've probably broken up in the time it took to read this item. That's just the way young hearts work, flashing on and off like blinker lights, but never knowing which way to turn.